There's a difference between a wedding and a marriage.

I know you’ve waited all of your life to wear that dress.

You’ve dreamt of your “big” day.

You’ve imagined the beautiful flowers, the rose petal lined aisle and the wonderful décor.

You’ve hummed the song that will gently guide you towards your future husband as each step is being captured. 

And then the party, the tables, the linens, the band, the dancing, oh, and yes, off in the corner that gorgeous multi-tiered cake.

I also know that you haven’t given much thought to your ceremony. The ceremony, after all, in many cases is what "has to happen" before all of the “good” stuff happens.

The ceremony, the “have to do” part, the, “guests arrive late on purpose” part in order not to have to sit through the boring formality.

I know, make it quick, "do you", "do they", put the other ring on it and let’s party.

Luckily for you, I have thought about the ceremony, about your ceremony.

Don’t get me wrong, I think about the party as well. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a good party right?

But there is a reason for the party. The reason for the party is what happens prior to the festivities beginning. 

I have thought about what to say to you on your wedding day. I have thought about what words I could offer you that might inspire you, not just for the moment but for a lifetime. With my words I attempt to decorate your ceremony, to provide you with a soundtrack for life so that you can dance together forever and always.

So please forgive me, don’t hold it against me when I inform you that I don’t do short and sweet.  Don’t get angry when I tell you that I think the ceremony has the potential to set the tone for the day, and for the rest of your life.

Don’t think me to be audacious when I tell you that I think the ceremony is the most important part of the evening.  If I didn’t believe this I wouldn’t be doing what I do. 

I want you to understand that there is a difference between your wedding and your marriage. And no, I don't think you take the "marriage" part for granted, on purpose that is.

I watch you, so energetic, so committed to creating a beautiful wedding. You spend time and money, you spend countless hours on Pintrest, theknot or weddingwire, and you hire the best vendors to carry out your vision for a beautiful wedding. I just wish you did the same to create a beautiful marriage, the same time, the same commitment and the same determination.

And hubby, you're not off the hook. It's your day and your marriage as well. Just "showing up" is not enough. "Just tell me what to do" doesn't work to create a unified experience.

Think of your wedding as the opening ceremony for the olympic games. The ceremony is fun, lots of pomp and circumstance, it is a visually beautiful event that takes place to usher in dedicated and expertly trained athletes. 

Athletes that know and take their sport seriously, they've trained, they've put in the hours and are now ready to win.

You can win at marriage. You can both create a lifetime experience of love, friendship, support, and understanding if you are willing to learn, to commit and to do the work.

So yes, have a wonderful wedding with all of the bells and whistles, just don't let the music die once the party is over.


The Art of Punctuality

According to Merriam, Webster that is, Timeliness is defined as the quality or habit of arriving or being ready on time.

I believe it was Vince Lombardi who once said, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.”

Timeliness and punctuality are always important, however, this is especially true on your wedding day.

Most people have no understanding of what takes place behind the scenes to ensure a successful event.

One of the greatest investments a couple can make to make sure their wedding unfolds as beautifully as they have imagined is in hiring a wedding planner.

A professional planner serves as a project manager, timekeeper and coordinator. A good planner is detailed oriented, they plan every aspect of the evening and are prepared to handle and solve any problem that may arise.

I have married about 700 couples in the past 11 years. I understand that some budgets do not make allowances for a planner and some couples simply feel that a planner is not necessary.

And with all due respect, your best friend, the one who just got married and can’t stay away from the Knot is not a planner.

It is no secret that a wedding with a planner has an advantage over a wedding that is not being managed by a qualified planner.

For a whole variety of reasons weddings that do not begin on time are not being overseen by a planner.

A planner is dedicated to making sure that everything happens at the time that it is supposed to happen.


And why is timeliness so important? Well for starters, your guests have been sitting there patiently waiting for the festivities to begin.

There are whole groups of people behind the scenes that are preparing food to be served at an appointed time.

When you are late it is never their fault if the warm food has cooled and the cold food has gotten colder.

If you happen to be very late then the times that have been allotted for certain events must be cut.

And finally, the most important reason for being on time and committing to punctuality is respect.

Respect for others and their time.

I have heard brides say, “its my day, people have to wait”.

No they don’t and in fact I’ve seen them leave.

If you have such a nonchalant attitude about time it seems unreasonable to expect others to behave differently.

If you expect your guests and your vendors to respect and adhere to your time requirements you must set the example.

A planner is available for full planning, for “day of” planning and some you can hire hourly.

On such a special day you should be relaxed and at ease. You should be as stress-free as possible. Allow someone else to answer questions, to handle situations and to ensure that everything goes off without a hitch.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.


P.S. Wedding guests, arrive on time. I believe you’ve received an invitation that has a start time. I get tired of guests trying to beat the bride down the aisle, casually arriving while the processional is taking place.